Educate them in love

"Educate them in love"

After reflecting on what it means to receive the child in reverence, I’ve been sitting with the next part of Rudolf Steiner’s quote:

“Receive the child in reverence, educate them in love, and send them forth in freedom.”

So, what does it mean to educate in love?

At first glance, it feels simple to understand - possibly moreso from a teacher’s perspective than a parents. As a Steiner teacher, you’re responsible for an entire class, and embodying a strong, calm, confident presence is essential. Without that, things can easily unravel. Educating in love may mean providing intentional inspiring content, resources that have been well-planned for and considered, not only being a firm presence, but a positive role model that is self reflective and constantly developing and learning as much as their students.

But what about as parents? What does it mean to educate in love within our homes?

For a long time, I believed it meant giving my children everything they needed to feel loved, seen, and understood. I wanted to cushion their struggles, to meet every emotion, to make life as comfortable as possible — especially when I feared they were hurting. Like many of us, I wanted to protect them from the pain we may all have experienced in childhood.

And while this desire comes from love, I began asking whether I was actually educating my children in love.

I came to the realization that:

Educating in love isn’t the same as making things easy.

It’s about believing in our children’s strength, even when things are hard. It's about helping to set them forth in freedom, not wrap them up in a cocoon. It’s holding boundaries with warmth and respect - for them and for ourselves.

Now, I try to parent from a place of love that strengthens, not softens away their capability.

If my child says he’s too tired to bring in his bag from the car, I say, “I know it’s hard when you’re tired. And we can still do things even when we’re tired. I’ll wait while you get it and then we’ll have morning tea.”

Sometimes I will even say this in a more firm tone: "Yip it's hard. But you're capable of bringing your bag inside"

He does it now — without resistance. Because he feels seen and capable within himself.

When the children complain about breakfast, I no longer scramble to please everyone. I say in a rather neutral unbothered tone, “That’s okay, you don’t have to like what’s for breakfast. But this is what’s for breakfast today.”

They can choose to eat or not, but I no longer change the plan. Within minutes, they sit down and eat. They’ve begun to feel gratitude again - reverence for their food and for eating breakfast.

When my oldest says, “I don't want to make my bed, I’m not good at making my bed,” I tell him, “I never used to be good at making my bed either, but by practising we get better, and that's how we grow". Now he makes his bed, proudly and without causing a fuss.

These are small moments, but together, I believe, they form the essence of educating in love.

We are believing in their capability and showing them the way through action; through being sturdy role models who practice what we preach. Showing them values of gratitude for their food, their bedroom, their belongings not by telling them to be grateful, but by living the values we want to instill so that we grow capable, loving, caring, grateful human beings. Values I am sure most of us all share.

It’s not about rescuing our children from discomfort. This is how we raise children who value their work, appreciate what they have, and trust in their own strength.

This is how love becomes the teacher.

And perhaps, this is the bridge that leads to the final part of Steiner’s words — sending them forth in freedom.